something about second chances.
I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships recently and part of me knows why, and the other part has no idea. I think people come to college looking for some sort of connection - friendship, intimate, mentor, whatever the case may be. When I was rushing in the beginning of the year, the one question I got over and over again was why I wanted to join a sorority. There are 9 houses, so in one day I got that question 900000 times, and by the third house I had already crafted my answer.
“Well, you know, I went to an all-girls high school, and my graduating class only had 83 girls. So, I always knew that I wanted to join a sorority - I mean, I was practically in one for six years of my life.”
And that is true, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not the whole answer. I guess I also joined because I was looking for a connection. I hate it when people say that going Greek is just about “paying for friends,” because I really don’t see it that way. To me, being in a sorority is sort of like my senior year of high school all over again - only add more girls and turn the living room into a three story house. It’s about being comfortable enough to have girls see you at your best and your worst and knowing that no matter what they have your back. It’s true, that I’ve only known my sorority sisters for six months rather than six years, but for me the connection came pretty quickly, because they chose me based on my personality. They knew that I was “TDM” and from the moment I stepped into the house during rushing I knew that it was where I was supposed to be. Someone asked me why I became a tri-delta and I told them that during rush this house was the only one that I never felt like I had to impress people - I felt that all I had to do was be myself to be as impressive as I could be.
Connection is also a big reason why I got involved in Hillel. I mean, I was raised in an area that has an incredibly high concentration of Jews, and went to a school that seemed (to me at least) predominantly Jewish. I also have been to Jewish summer camp for the past 9 summers, and it turns out that I just have more friends who are Jewish than those who aren’t. And I’m convinced that it has nothing to do with religion, although I do find myself becoming more and more connected with Judaism in college. For me it’s Curb Your Enthusiasm and matzo ball soup when you’re sick. It’s Jewish mother jokes, a mutual love of hair straighteners, and hanging out at AEPi. It’s bonding over Matisyahu concerts, playing Wii after Shabbat dinner and potato pancakes. In other words, the religion is second to me, and the culture is first.
Lastly, I’ve recently realized that I’ve grown up in college, and with a certain amount of maturity comes relationships that might otherwise have been overlooked. I love Los Angeles, don’t get me wrong, but I think that I grew up in an environment that is hard to explain without resorting to clichés about the “A List” novels or “Gossip Girl” references. I think that living in Los Angeles can cloud your judgement sometimes, because I have realized that going home is like stepping into fantasy land. I didn’t realize until someone mentioned it to me about how I’m a more genuine person this time around versus last year. I think it’s a truth that I wasn’t willing to admit until it was staring at me in the face - or rather, told to me on the phone. It’s always hard to admit to yourself when you let egos or just plain old crappy judgement get in the way of what you really want, or what really makes you happy. But if anything good comes out of a bad situation its that it makes you cherish whatever it is you have once you get it. It also makes you face some qualities about yourself that you would have rather just left in the past. I’m a firm believer in facing up to the not-so-pretty qualities that you have, because I think it’s the only way to really move on from them.
In other words, I came to college really looking for a connection to something - friends, a higher power, personal connection. And in some way thus far I have found everything that I’m looking for. It doesn’t mean that I’m just going to sit complacent (have I ever been complacent about ANYTHING?) but it does mean that I have friends to vent to, shabbat dinners to go to, a home away from home and a reason to look forward to going home.
